Last night while I was fixing lasagna, I inadvertently answered the phone without checking the caller ID. Bad move,Poopie. I purposely do not answer toll free numbers because they are either a}spam/sales calls or b}bill collectors. Over the years, I have made the acquaintance of many an idiot this way.

Guess who it was? It was JOHN who gets his jollies and sense of accomplishment from insulting the downtrodden. His little piece of the action involves a 1500 buck credit card that hasn't been used in 3 years but continues to accrue late fees and interest and therefore continues to haunt my middle aged single and broke self.

JOHN's tactic was fresh and exciting! Instead of humbly asking for a check by phone, he put his whole soul into performing as a badass for my benefit. Here's a sample:

JOHN: Hey! I'm calling from XYZ agency regarding your ABC account.

me: Yes...well my accounts are being managed by a non-profit debt consolidation agency. Would you like their number?

JOHN: What a loser! Aren't you ashamed of yourself that you can't be financially responsible enough to take care of your own debts???

me: Not at all JOHN. I'm in a pinch and it's the only way I can handle things right now. Trying to be debt free, you know. At least I'm not filing BK.

JOHN: Hey, grab that checkbook and let's set it up right now. How much can you pay?

me: nothing, John. ZERO. Here's that phone number.....

JOHN: That's a shame girl. I make 80 grand a year and I'm able to buy nice presents for my parents ( I kid you not ...he said this )

me: Congratulations to you and your parents. I know they're proud of your honorable profession serving mankind and all. I bet there's a Nobel peace prize in it for ya.

JOHN: Well at least I'm able to pay my bills. *Snarl

me: M#*her F#*...

JOHN: Now now, there's no need for potty mouth.

me: (click)

Moral of the story: Be careful who you kick when they're down. What goes around comes around back atcha.

Y'all keep the faith. ^j^