As I watched Dr. Phil jump into the fray today with a 14 year old girl and her tormented family I was glad that gig is over for me. This poor girl was oozing pain and tears and tormenting everybody around her in a cry for help. She claimed that the reason for her misery is that she wants her older sister's "perfect life." Babygirl couldn't have used that excuse for she's an only child, yet her misery was palpable from the age of 12 to about 16. The harder I tried to fix it, the more miserable we both became.

When I was growing up as the oldest sister to two bratty younger brothers I soon modeled my life in typical "oldest child" fashion. I tried to be perfect and to be everything to everybody and in the process gave myself away to the world and became who "they" wanted me to be. The first time I read a Melody Beattie book and discovered that there was a NAME for co-dependency I cried like a baby from relief. I thought it was just me.

As years have passed I've relaxed into who I am and can even embrace the parts I don't particularly like. I'm a slob and a pack rat and very disorganized. I don't like filth, but clutter is A-OK with this old gal. I cry easily because I am acutely aware of my emotions. This can be a definite drawback at work or when trying to explain something rationally. It comes out like "muahh...sniff..snort..wahhhhh." Bosses don't understand that stuff. Especially men. I have very little patience with whiners and martyrs and all of the other assorted pains in the ass that life presents, but my empathy is boundless for those who touch my heart. I can spot a manipulator a mile off yet I am still quite slow to judge. It's not my place. I'm really short but I've discovered that the view from down here is divine.

There are many things about me that make me glad to be Poopie, like my tendency to be easily amused. I can find humor in almost anything. I can be one of the guys or one of the girls just as easily and I've spent a lot of time that makes me feel good being Mom to kids who don't have one they can talk to. Though I've given them plenty of cause for heartache, my parents are proud of me and we enjoy each other. I support my co-workers ( except for the whiners :) and generally do my part to keep the boat floatin'.

Almost everywhere I turn there is a friend or some kind stranger willing to help me with what I need at the moment whether it's lawnmower advice or insurance or movie and book tips. My daughter is real and happy and healthy and enjoying her young adult life. My dogs are spoiled rotten and they love me to pieces.

I have one word for the hodge podge of things, good and bad, that are my life.

Success. ^j^