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There is absolutely nothing {aside from falling in love} that will cure a control freak quicker than becoming a parent. Thus speaketh a recovering one. I remember in the labor room as the pain intensified thinking that perhaps this was an omen. "Wait...I changed my mind!" The OB just chuckled and hit the epidural one more time. I ended up not feeling my legs for about 24 hours.

Prior to the blessed event, my life was somewhat orderly in that.. well, there was work. And then there was what I wanted to do when I wasn't working. That September the whole picture changed dramatically. MOTHER got added to all the other roles I played, and it seemed to be the most overwhelming. Who else can talk on the phone, type a report for work, cook supper while overseeing the birth of kittens on the kitchen floor, wash clothes, do homework, yada yada. ALL at the same time. Good thing I only had one!

I witnessed a scene the other day between a manipulative 14 year old girl and her yet-to-catch-on-to-the-game Mom and I remembered myself turning my soul inside out to try to understand MY 14 year old. The girl was about to do something a tiny bit unpleasant which she thought she could whine her way out of. It was obvious that the dance between mother and daughter had been rehearsed on many occasions with Mom attempting to cajole and bribe her into it and daughter steadily dramatizing the sitatuion simply for the sport of watching her mother jump through hoops.


I remember a time in my life that I thought being at home with my child would be the best for both of us. The feeling passed when I failed to adopt the frugal lifestyle that would entail. Do I have regrets?

Not really. She grew up and left the nest anyway ( well, kinda. ) My only regret is that I didn't pay more attention to myself when I felt pulled in 100 different directions. I allowed myself to feel guilty about not being the best I could be as a mother and a wife and a medical technologist and a friend when, in fact, I did just fine as all of the above. I simply wasn't perfect. But then, nobody is.

Y'all keep the faith. ^j^
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