There was a time in my life when these gals were my best pals. There was a fifth one who didn't make it into this pic for some reason or another. We celebrated every birthday, holiday and FRIDAY afternoon as if it were the most important event in the world. We worked together and played together for years on end and produced a history that I will never forget. Mucho drama.

I still don't really understand what happened, except that life just kept moving forward. One moved away and all but 2 of us left the job for something different. Our kids grew up and parents got older and died. Poop happens.

I think that's one of the most difficult things for me to understand about the passages of life. How you can be so close to somebody for so long and then have them virtually disappear from your life. Were they not friends to begin with? Fair weather? Was it simply the survivor mentality of being in the same place at the same time, like with siblings?

Looking back I see that most of my friendships follow that pattern of great intensity that moves into "I'm always there for you but I'm outta here." Usually the basis is some commonality like work or church or kids in school or sports together. High school friends are like that, with a few exceptions. Everybody gets all fired up at each 10 year mark and then "poof"...it's over.

Very few of my friends are dealing with the things that I'm experiencing right now. Most of them have spouses. While my kid is comfortably moving out of the nest, many of my friends have toddlers hanging on their legs or grandchildren to play with or angst ridden teenagers glaring at them. The majority are comfortable financially.

And me? I'm just here in paradise with my dog and my thoughts and the sound of the wind blowing through the pines as I pull weeds and live one day at a time.

I consider myself fortunate.

^j^