I don't know about y'all, but I'm damn tired of typing about funerals and heavy stuff, so I'm changin' gears today. I know you have all sorely missed the hilariously dorky adventures of the middle aged child who calls herself Poopie.

The word of the week over at Cybervassals is holster. The general idea is to use the word in a post or comment and fabulous prizes await the most creative wordster. If it turns out to be a tropical island getaway for me and the man of my dreams, will somebody please donate some vacation hours so I can take advantage of my win and still pay the light bill?

^j^ ^j^ ^j^ ^j^

Some of the FUNNEST times I've ever had in my life were in a raft on the whitewater of the Ocoee River . Now, the rafting in itself is a riot. On one trip I witnessed this poor hysterical woman who climbed up on a rock about 50 feet from put-in and refused to move. She wasn't gettin' back into THAT raft on THAT river! I guess she stayed there until (a) her buddies pulled a gun out of the raft's holster to get her to move her butt or (b) a helicopter rescued her from that rock. Too bad she missed the "surfing" on those holes downriver. These guides are like magicians with a raft and can take the most motley crew of novices and make it a great adventure to safely navigate around the bridge pillars. As long as they're over 13 :)

The most amazing part of the whole deal is that the river is dam controlled by the TVA which splits water time with the tourism industry. If your shuttle is the first of the day up the mountain road, what you see is an empty river bed. An empty very big and ROCKY river bed. As you travel higher in that big yellow bus, trickles begin to flow that turn into a steady flow that turns into whitewater madness by the time vests are strapped on and rafts launched. The last time I was there, preparations were underway for Olympic kayaking competitions. I couldn't participate though....my two year old with chicken pox wanted her Mommy back home ;)

Gotta run.....Bernie's got a hairball.