Only you don't KNOW that I lied unless you read last night's post which got deleted this morning. After a commenter mentioned that I sounded like I "needed a hug" I decided the drivel I had posted was entirely too bitchy whiny ranty melodramatic pitypartyish unbecoming to an awesome woman such as myself. So there, am I forgiven for lying?

I'll make it up to ya with a couple of stories shared by co-workers that had me giggling before breakfast so hard I couldn't stop.

Story # 1 goes like this:
A couple of work folks went out into another part of the workplace to double team something. One of them is a fairly new recruit, we'll call him New Guy. Cute as a bug and a wicked sense of humor. He and his female sidekick rounded a corner to be greeted by a terrifying sight! There is a QUITE middled aged and QUITE large lady who works in the area who has recently begun to forget that middle aged large ladies shouldn't "put on the dog", so to speak, when dressing for work. She's showin' up most days in extremely short skirts over her extremely large behind and thinking she's hot stuff. ( don't ask...I don't have a clue why this began ) Anyhow, New Guy and Sidekick came up on her backside which had the short skirt du jour tucked INSIDE her black pantyhose in the back with a nice large purple thong showing through. Seems she had gotten twisted on her last bathroom visit and her precious co-workers had failed to tell her she was inside out. New Guy looked away ( very quickly and in disgust, I must add ) and whispered to Sidekick "Somebody needs to tell her what's up." As in the entire back of her skirt. Far as I know, nobody ever did.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch:

A couple of the girls were sitting around last night when the phone rang with an outside call. Blondie answered with "Hello. Hello? HELLO! " She proceeds to overhear a 15 minute one sided conversation from some poor fool who didn't know her phone had dialed into a live audience and it went kinda like this...on speakerphone ;)

Poor Fool: "You didn't gimme enough damn money to get the bathin' suit I wanted so I had to switch the price tag to git it."

Her Old Man: *silent*

Poor Fool: "Well, I'd rather be broke with some weed than broke without it. You can be damn sure I'll spend my last 20 bucks to git me a sack"

Her Old Man: *silent*

Poor Fool: "I reckon I'll be broke 'til I git my hydros again."

THIRTEEN minutes of this stuff and the girls were about laid out they were so tickled. Finally, Poor Fool discovered "somebody" was on the phone and ended the show, presumably broadcast from the trailer park.


Aren't you glad I lied? See...honesty is not always the best policy. Unless it's funny.

^j^