Listening to Don Henley sing just a bit ago about forgiveness, I found myself in awe of the way that artists can touch our souls at just the right time in the sweet spot. A turn of the word of a click of the lens..notes put together with lyrics that speak directly to someone's heart. Each of us has a gift, given by God, that can be grown into something beautiful if we only have faith.

I caught myself thinking about my failures. Normally I don't dwell on that kind of thing, but hey..I'm weary. Most of my life has been spent giving and reaching out. That can leave a girl all used up if she's not careful. The decisions that I've made concerning my life might seem trivial to some, but to me they were major and well thought out. At one time, running away was the most attractive option around. Several years ago I got on the "get the hell outta here" bandwagon and searched far and wide for a new job in a new place where nobody knew my name. There were offers. Many of them consisted of more of the same corporate madness in a different locale. A few were about big money on the run. Nothing grabbed me where it counts enough to leave paradise and my family. My heart will always be here on the farm where I've spent the majority of my life and raised my child.

Failure is relative, just like success. The guilt and sadness over a busted up marriage morphed into a steely resolve to hold out for what I deserve. I have made peace with my weaknesses and learned to embrace them as part of who I am. It's much easier to say "when" after you learn that life is short and then you die. Arms not held out for a hug and honesty not shared in all its' ugly snot slinging glory are fear in action. I'll never be guilty of that. Even if...even if.