SYNOPSIS

Act I
Scene I
Alarm goes off at 4:30. Slap snooze until almost 5 then haul it out of bed. It's cold. REAL cold. Get out the door just in time to make it to work.
Scene II
Fire car up and hear a strange noise. It goes away. Pull out onto the lane. KLONK KLONK. Flat tire. Pull back into driveway and head in to call the boss.
Scene III
Wake up BabyGirl's sleeping boyfriend from the couch. He says it's "too cold" to change the tire, he'll take me to work. She's due to work at 8. I make it in fifteen minutes late at 6:15.
Scene IV
BabyGirl calls hysterical at 8am because BF won't wake up to take her to work. Meanwhile I've called a tire place to come out and put the spare on, take the car in and fix the tire plus do some maintenance. They're outside as we talk, so I tell her to tell them to just CHANGE the tire, fix the flat and I'll make an appt. for the other stuff when I stop to pick it up.

Act II Work until 1:30. Not a bad day for a Monday.

Act III
Scene I BabyGirl picks me up and we do some running for her job prior to my 2pm appointment for my FREE massage. The noise is back...and worse. I deliver her back to work, call to cancel the massage, and stop at a service station for a guy to have a listen to. I vaguely hear "rod knocking" and "pull the engine." Oh crap.
Scene II Pull into the dealership where the car has ONE month left on the warranty and my cousin is the sales manager. He slides it in under the warranty but it will take a week. The loaners are out. I can take one off the lot and bring it back later today when the loaner comes back that I will drive. Cool. Get me the hell out of here! The car they give me is out of gas and they give me a voucher to go a couple of miles up the road to get it. I forget and leave my beer in my car that's gonna be worked on...for a week.
Scene III Get gas, go back to get beer out of car and the loaner is back in so I don't have to come back later after all. Fall down on the ground and kiss favorite cousin's feet. Haul ass toward the house, beer in tow.

Act IV ( for you drama critics, here's the climax )
Stop by the tire place to pay them for fixing the tire and such. Turns out the guy misunderstood BabyGirl, said he put the bad tire in the back of the car since I was "coming in later". Fine then. Tire's in the trunk, car's in the shop. Let me pay you what I owe you for what you did, which was change a tire. Total price for a service call 1 mile down the road: $49 forty nine dollars , um hmm, and some change. And the tire's still not fixed.

Epilogue: Pull into the yard in my loaner TRUCK and spot the damaged tire laying in front of the steps on the ground. &%######++*****

I just have one request....will somebody please hold me ??



Bonus question: Guess who's on Santa's ( and Poopie's ) naughty list? Multiple answers allowed.