"And the question is........What do you call 5,000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

Pardon me while I hammer out the planks of my platform as a write-in candidate for 2008. It would triple my salary and allow us to save change the USA as we know it. I'm not very good with money so my first priority is to hire Bill Gates as Secretary of the Treasury. Any guy who can re-invent the internet every two years and demand ransom for it knows all about the buck. Sorry Al.

Immigration reform is on everybody's mind these days according to the news. Once again, it's all about the paperwork. Imagine how many government jobs are kept alive and kicking tracking down illegal immigrants and protecting the borders. I propose that we streamline the process of citizenship and increase the tax base. Personally, I'm tired of supporting the downtrodden. I'd like to see those on green cards become full fledged citizens of this great country and contribute to the upkeep of the political elite like the rest of us do. Once they realize that it's expensive to be an American they'll run like hell for home.

The war on drugs has taken a back seat to the war on terror, dollarwise. Is it just me or does this country of ours always have to have a war on something? How about we just make love and not war? Your tax dollars contribute heavily to long term federal imprisonment of people who grow and smoke pot. Millions of bucks are spent on drug testing of American workers who show up every day to do their jobs and need a little buzz to relax from playing office politics to feed the upper echelon. Marijuana is an excellent cash crop, yet it remains illegal in the USA and of no use to our government except for paying the salaries of the DEA. Crack, meth and heroin? I say kick their asses,boys. Just leave the doobie brothers and sisters alone.

The Middle East is very similar to our own beloved country in that there are a few who get very rich and the rest just schlep along hoping for something different. Those pictures of golden inlaid castles over in foreign lands with American soldiers in the foreground? They could have been taken here on American soil. Please refer to the richest of the rich here at home. Compare and contrast the morals and value systems of American politicians and middle eastern oil barons. I don't see much difference.

The healthcare industry is completely out of control. In the twenty nine years I've been a part of it, insurance companies have refused to pay for tests and treatments that they don't deem necessary. In my humble opinion, this grew from an environment of totally free healthcare as an entitlement to American workers of the seventies. Doctors learned back in the day that it was easy to ride the white horse and promise eternal life with this or that potion. Don't get me started on the pharaceutical companies. If they cut out the free pens and notepads me and you both could retire. Like anybody even looks at the writing anyways.... Sheesh. Big Ernie promises that if you do right by folks and stand up against injustice there will be a reward approaching your own personal heaven. What would that be to you?

Homeland security is a major plank. Four and a half years ago some suicide bombers opened our eyes to the vulnerability of our "borders." There ain't no border when there's hate on the agenda. Compare the numbers of a one day strike on the financial and political districts of our Eastern coast to the four years spent in retaliation for September 11, 2001. We're almost even. Feel better now?

Call your mother. Hug your kids. Meet someone halfway. Say "I love you" when you feel it. Raise some hell.

^j^