According to the old cliche, it makes us stronger. The very first time that I heard that saying was when BabyGirl was about 12 years old and me and her Dad were freshly post-divorce #1. I wrote the words on an index card with a Sharpie and stuck it on the refrigerator next to coupons for a buck off of pizza and goofy kid pictures. Had I known then how MUCH stronger I would become, I probably would have said "Thanks, but no thanks." At times, it has seemed almost too much to bear.

Then again, the alternative was to throw up my hands and lose the faith to which I have clung so firmly during treks through the valley. I have always tended to have an empathetic nature...if you hurt, I hurt along with you. If you accomplish a victory I will applaude you from here to next year. That mindset can be a blessing, but it can also be quite painful for a tender hearted girl such as myself. It's called Catch-22, Poops.

My grandma told me one time long ago that "We're just all borrowed to each other here on Earth by God." The older I get, the more I am forced to embrace that wisdom as people and relationships enter and exit my life at an alarming rate. "Carpe diem" takes on a whole new meaning when you think about it that way. That may mean nothing more than taking a detour from the usual routine to spend time with an old friend or make a new one. It can become a way of life, if only we have faith in the process. And keep it.

My friend Amy Claire shared this with me not too long ago. It's something that she has had either inside or on her desk for twenty two years. It lives on my dresser mirror now, her legacy to me.

COMES THE DAWN

After a while you learn the subtle difference
Between holding a hand and chaining a soul.
And you learn that love doesn't mean security,
and you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts
and presents aren't promises.
And you begin to accept your defeats
with your eyes open, with the grace of a woman not the grief of a child.
And you learn to build all your roads on today, because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain
And futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight.
After a while you learn that even sunshine burns if you get too much.
So you plant your own garden and decorate your own soul, instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.
And you learn that you really can endure....
That you really are strong, and you really do have worth.
And you learn and learn, with every goodbye, you learn.

by Veronica Shoffstall