Bless his heart, he usually don't have a clue about how to make her feel special. If she doesn't grab the bull by the horn and run with it he's lost as a goose amongst all the soul searching and such. Thus, a star in the commercial realm is born. I'm gonna make my pile on this one, y'all hide and watch.

I am proud to introduce my latest brainchild, with a little help from my friends. This business was christened Poopie's Pleasures the other night and so it shall be. Each and every girl is unique, and their needs are just as original. Here's the pitch, guys. You know how brides and pregnant ladies register for what they want for gifts? Bingo. You know how you never listen to your lady until she grabs you by the wanger and lays it on you? Eureka! Register your beloved with us and we will listen to her yayaya and be your personal shopper for whatever puts her in the mood. Take the guesswork out of gettin' laid and shop with us!

Massage? Fifty bucks an hour for your stressed out sweetie under the magical hands of Rebecca. She'll be putty in your paws begging to have her way with you as you walk in the door from your latest fishin' trip. How many of you get bored with listening to favorite author and musician chat? Send that gal on over to the Pleasure House to register her literary and musical picks and take the guesswork out of keeping her content for a day or three. We have candles galore, and they don't come cheap. It's worth it though, dontcha think? Out of the doghouse and into the love nest with you, cad. We have baseball/football/soccer/hockey/lacrosse/golf/nascar caps for every team to top those pretty little heads that aim to please you.

There are some things that we just.won't.do. Among those are china, flatware and stemware. Poops has found that it's a huge waste of money when a gift card to your local merchant will bring more passion to today's woman. Grandma sent her silver and linens down the pike to be enjoyed by future generations. That time is each and every holiday, even if you go huntin' in the morning or hop a plane from Europe the night before. The rest of the time, expect paper plates and plastic cups.

Gift certificates available now. If you missed Valentine's Day, Easter is coming up soon. We also sell bait and tackle and duck decoys, in season.