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the poopie platform
The strategists for my campaign advised that I wait until election eve to blitz the voters with brilliance. Y'all all know that I do as I'm told, right? OK then. What really sucks about partisan politics is that us independents don't have a chance what with big bizness courtin' the lobbyists and the assistants to the assistants to "da man"...or da woman, as the case may be. Even when America speaks loudly and clearly, money talks to the middle men and the voice gets laryngitis. Middle men, for this post's purposes, consists of anyone who stands to gain something for supporting a certain belief. I've gotta tell ya...I'm looking at bigger earnings than the lottery with my sheep mentality. I can hear them lining up right now to write the checks.

The platform consists of pointing out four major pains in the ass groups that manipulate the American people by knowing our weak spots. They are outlined below (sans bullets) because the campaign manager said that's just "not where it's at" these days. So be it, not in any particular order.

Main Stream Media..Okay, get real. Do you REALLY think that we care about Mel's DUI and the blondes that got him there? We've got enough of our own troubles without listening to your smiley face well coiffed self tell us why his wife wasn't with him on boys' night out. Save it for the judge. Ditto for Fidel and his disappearing act. All of the Cubans who want to be here jumped a boat a long long ago and now live in the good old USA. I know this because my Daddy got sent to Miami to meet them right before he retired from thirty five years of service to the US government. That was several presidents and wars ago.

Big Business...Healthcare is something that should be available to everyone in some form or fashion, and it is not the business of the government to provide that except when the patient cannot gain access to delivery of care: i.e. elderly, children, terminally ill and the like. Us middle class folks would certainly appreciate a break from the big drug companies and insurers awarding mega bucks to CEOS who reap big dividends for those who have the money to invest. Yada. Yada. And Amen. Same goes for oil companies. I mean geez....how many tropical vacations can one man and his mistress enjoy before we give up our SUV's and walk?

Organized Religion...I am a very spiritual person, to a fault sometimes. I grew up that way because my family and friends showed me the definition of agape. I'm blessed in that respect and intend to die trying to show those who haven't had the same blessings. Strip away the luxuries of your church sanctuaries and the salaries of your administrators and show me love in action and I guarantee you I'll be there with the last dollar I've got. For faith in action, see Love Thy Neighbor. Without judgment. With whatever talent you were blessed with by the one God. My friend told me that the worship service that she normally loves was invaded by two pews of a normally absent political family and a "lay speaker" with an agenda. She was pissed, to say the least. So was Jesus, I feel sure.

The Inner Child...You know, the one who whines and carries on about who hit who first and who's right and who's wrong and why you're where you are. At some point in time, each individual has the opportunity to step up and claim his or her life and do something positive with it. You may not be in Wikipedia or the history books, but every one of us has a chance every.single.day to make a difference in another life by sharing where we've been and what we've learned. Sometimes it's painful to do so, but there is therapy in the sharing of that pain. See also: Support group of your choice.

Everybody at work today was talking about the local cable company's broadcast of what the candidates had to say last night. 99.9% of them talked about themselves and their kids and families instead of how they planned to solve the problem at hand. Phone tree messages have been ringing in for days from the ones I didn't vote for two weeks ago. I think there's a law against that, by the way.

If the future of this country rests on last minute decisions by uninformed voters, we're in deep shit.
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