It began before daylight, scurrying down Pecan Lane on the way to the day job in the trusty almost-paid-for-Camry that has clean oil, thanks be to Speed Lube. We also have a new tire that almost matches the other three since the front right managed to get speared with a pecan limb last week and gave up the ghost. Such is life in the fast lane with a single smartass asparagus farmer looking for true love.

Poor sucker never knew what hit him.