Surely y'all have figured out by now that it's not my first time in the saddle. Lord willing, it won't be the last. I have decided that I don't know a thing about men after years of lovin' and losin' them. Umm, well..I know a few things. They snore and belch and fart and get away with it 'cuz they're guys and it's politically correct for them to act that way. Boys will be boys and all that. They seem to enjoy being the aggressive one when it comes to women. My latest attempt to make the first move has landed me flat on the old face, again. I tell myself it's because I'm a respectable woman who seems to be worth more than a roll in the hay but not worth the effort for more than that. That has been my experience during five years of single life.

Most men love having women as friends because the relationship allows them to work out their angst safely, without fear of ridicule from the "guys" or loss of the Big Ike persona with the love of his life. She's usually skinny, blonde and hot or clingy and controlling...sometimes both. She gets off on drama and feels threatened by anything that dares to mess with her plan for his time. And he goes along with it because it's too much trouble not to.

I adore my men friends, and have learned sooooooo very much from them about the soft side that resides inside of the tough exterior. I know it's there in most of them, yet they rarely share it except with someone they trust. Except for me. Yep...that's the story of my life. Good old Poopie is a great listener and a wonderful friend. You can talk to her about anything and everything and feel so much better about yourself when you take miss whiny-controlling-nympho out for a big date. Or, if you prefer, just get your self esteem all pumped up for a one night stand with whoever shows some interest.

I'm past all that. What I need is a partner in life..not to be taken care of or to be somebody's Mama. I want equality in every sense of the word right down to you cry on my shoulder and I'll cry on yours. I want a man who loves his kids, dogs and parents, not necessarily in that order. If he is a spiritual person and likes to do stuff outdoors, that would be a plus. He must understand that the arts are like crack to me and feed my soul. Music..drama..the written word. Political party is irrelevant, as long as there is a deep and abiding desire to treat others with respect and dignity and work for peace.

Sounds like a tall order, huh? That probably explains why I'm still single. That's okay...I'll keep the faith and wait for what I want. Maybe ideal man will be hung like a horse too. *snort*