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ya' gotta wanna
An old and dear friend's sister did that in counted crosstich on a pillow or something and the adage popped into my mind this afternoon as I was watching the rain laden clouds move through my corner of West Tennessee. Too little, too late for this year's crop. It's been so hot that a second batch of corn has sprouted in the fields where the first failed miserably due to drought.

Ya'll have no doubt heard the term "jack of all trades, master of none" haven't you? It's beginning to dawn on me that it's the perfect phrase to describe me and my life. If all the hats I've worn were placed end to end they'd stretch about halfway to Fiji and back yet none of them have provided me with financial security or a sense of personal fulfillment...well, except for being Babygirl's Mama :) That's the most personally awesome thing I've ever been a witness to with this old smartass life of mine. The beauty of it is that she knows it to be the truth and reflects it back to me in her own life. Agape, pure and simple.

There have been so many things that I have tried desperately to achieve and failed at quite miserably, many of them related to the day job. The company that I once worked for had the name of my home church smeared all over its' mission statement and logo. For twenty years, I sought to reconcile that in my work and worship, yet in the end...we were sold to the highest bidder like a bunch of cattle at auction. All of my hopes and dreams of acting as a catalyst for change in the healthcare field went to Wall Street along with a lot of hard earned benefits that are untouchable. To hell with that, in a handbasket.

Bottom line? I don't wanna anymore. The Pollyanna that once was Poopie died somewhere a few years ago along with the hope of ever finding true love with a life partner because, well. Everybody's got baggage and it's too much trouble to help them unpack unless you meet 'em at just the point in cosmic time that Big Ernie intended. The way my luck goes, I'll be sleeping in when dude shows up on the doorstep with flowers. And then one of the dogs will bite his ass and he'll sue me.

Let us pray and be specific.

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