When it comes to living above your means and buying into the American dream of having it all right now, I am a veteran in a very small way. Oh, not in that live in the Hamptons and commute to Wall Street style, but a victim of credit mongers, nonetheless. Because of my own insecurities and lack of focus on what is important in life, I fell right into that line marching to the piper's tune of keep up with the Joneses and everybody else. When my child balked at wearing clothes from a discount store, we scurried on over to the mall with a credit card and bought something suitable that usually ended up in a yard sale pile for a quarter. We never quite kept up with the Joneses....or anybody else. All we got was a shitload of credit card debt with minimum payments barely made until the whole house of cards fell in a heap following a divorce.

The reaction of Congress to the bailout package has given me a glimmer of hope that maybe there are a few people left with a lick of sense in this country. I can guarantee you that when my ex-husband and I went to bankruptcy court overcome with credit card debt years ago, nobody offered to bail US out. We re-affirmed on the vehicles that got us to work and back and started over from scratch. That is not a bad idea for those who have so selfishly squandered our tax dollars over the years. In the words of my great grandpa: " There ain't no such thing as a free lunch."

Somebody pays every time a mistake in judgement is made. In this case, we will all pay if Congress bails out the opportunists who have lived a lavish lifestyle at our expense. I don't live in a big fancy expensive house because I know that I can't afford it. Period. It takes everything I have to buy fuel and food and insurance and afford a dollar beer at the kudzu when I'm feeling adventurous. This is main street USA, like it or not. We the people never get heard.

I caught some of Oprah today and it was all about the large population of a rural county in Ohio who are hopelessly addicted to heroin. I watched, slack jawed, as I heard the testimonies of a middle class family who gave up the ghost of what the American dream is all about for a needle and then it was all over but the crying. According to the report this epidemic of escapism as a lifestyle came in response to "boredom" with life in the USA. Go to work. Pay bills. Buy stuff. Pay more bills. If you feel that your government isn't representing you fairly, suck it up and pay those taxes or else you lose your birthday. That's the way it is here in the good old USA.

Hopelessness comes in many forms, and this country is as hopeless as I've seen it in my lifetime. And that, my friends, is because nobody listens to us. My prayer is for that to change for future generations. Being a baby boomer ain't all that it's cracked up to be. One can only hope that the young 'uns will have a softer gentler side from which they can pull strength and compassion for us when we are padding around on walkers in the nursing home.

Yes, I am disillusioned. I tend to get that way when people get greedy and don't play fair. While I realize that I am blessed to have the life that I live, so many others don't and that makes me sad. Pollyanna can only keep smiling for so long, right RG?

^j^

Word came down from the mountains of Virginia today that my first and only nephew arrived about four hours after the first pain hit this morning, precisely on his due date. Welcome to the world little dude! When you're a little bit older I'll teach you how to pick the locks on your Daddy's bedroom door with a bobby pin like he used to do to me. Needless to say my parents are excited to have their second grandchild twenty four years after the first one!!

Some local bikers held a benefit this weekend and pre-sold boston butts to be picked up yesterday at a little church right outside of the 'burg. I wasn't sure where the church was but how lost can you get in a little place like that, right? As I was driving out there I dropped in behind a whole pack of folks on Harleys just sure that they would lead me to the bbq, but noooooooo. I followed 'em about five miles until I realized I was way past where I should be so I turned around and asked directions at the local store. I had driven right by it. These folks can cook some killer butts, I'm just saying.

My weekend has been devoted to yard work which has been painfully neglected due to my aversion to heat. When you've got trumpet vine attached to the siding, it's time to get out there and tackle the thing. Before I could mow I had to pick up the limbs that Hurricane Ike left two weeks ago. I've also been picking the last of my Granny Smith apples and freezing them, and headed down to Daddy's to get some of his Yellow Delicious just because I can. He's got an Arkansas Black tree which he is understandably hoarding for himself, and they are beautiful. My car is full of fruit flies. Go figure.

Speaking of painful, all that bending and stooping has done a number on my terribly out of shape body right where the legs meet the butt, and not a bbq one by the way. Nothing that naproxen won't fix , but it was a wake up call. I broke down and bought some new uniforms of the chosen colors this week, even though it still pisses me off because, hey. I gotta work to buy beer and pay the utility company, not necessarily in that order.

Watched the (not so) great debate Friday night and got bored after an hour so I went to sleep at 9PM. What a party animal I can be! Of course I waited impatiently all day yesterday to see if Tina Fey would return as Palin on SNL and indeed she did. With Amy's Katie Couric to boot. Them girls ain't right...and I love it :) A day without humor is like a day under the Dubya administration.

Carry on......and act as if.

^j^

At work this afternoon, I walked by the PC where two of my friends were reading the news about the bailout. I stopped just long enough to read that it evidently really happened and catch that B word. Now, I know there's this huge important election coming up soon and somebody wants to ride the white horse, but oh.my.god. This time it won't be the ones who got us where we are.

Ever since 9/11 I have watched as the GOP spins this giant tale of horror about how the world is out to get us and we have to stop them by buying more of their shit stuff or occupying their homeland. The smell of greed for money and power is worse than anything I've ever experienced in a hospital where people suffer real physical pain. The first time I saw a body swing and a head roll in Iraq I was ready to pack it up and go home or kick somebody's ass. Neither one happened.

My vote will go to the candidates of a party that wisely funds programs for social reform like healthcare rather than pouring my tax dollars into guns. Oh sure...I want the guns. I just want them over here protecting my ass on American soil. Most of all I want some people representing me who will stop bickering over party lines and power and listen to the little people who are paying the bill. I don't give a rat's butt if he or she is black or old or even talks with a prounced twang while wearing Tina Fey glasses.

We have failed our children by leading them into an entitled generation....one in which we either buy them anything they want, often on credit, or expect the federal government to send a check because mama didn't dance and daddy sure didn't rock'n'roll except when he was tore up. Enough with the excessive whining, already. Get over it. We could be spending your check on end-of-life care or rehab for people who wannna be happy. ( see Patch Adams, et al )

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Stopped by the funeral home on my way home to hug a friend whose mama died. She's been sick a long time and he's been pretty torn up about it. Lots of treatments and money for something that just weakened her body. But you know what? It was her decision and they respected it until she said "no more." Gotta admire that in a family.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Ya'll be faithful out there. It's almost TGIF.

Really ^j^

I used to love it when Chevy Chase did the news on SNL. "I'm Chevy Chase...and you're not." He always had a top story and very often Gavin was featured in a little side window doing the top story for the hearing impaired. I thought about them when I caught Dubya's little annotated history of financial woes that we are dealing with. And you know what? There was one phrase he used that literally scared the poop out of me.

"...resume the flow of credit to the American people."

Okay then. I'm not a senior political correspondent or even a political science minor but I do have some common sense when the moon is right. And for the life of me I can't figure out what the HELL McCain is thinking when he claims the need to delay the debate to "solve our nation's financial crisis." Like, duh. Stall for time dude. Maybe Congress will make a deal with China and we won't have to worry about a damn thing. Meanwhile, get your ass out there in the middle of the dusty street at sundown and spar with your enemy until somebody comes up with an answer. Which, by the way, might not include adding to the deficit by bailing out companies who don't manage their money well, much like our country.

The view around here is absolutely magnificent post corn shelling. I honestly didn't realize that it was like living in a box with corn fields on all four sides until it went away. It was a dusty couple of days but thank goodness I got some prednisone at just the right moment to get me through the picture taking and subsequent recovery with Visine and antihistamines close at hand. Yep, I'm nuts for this place. Picture this....my chubby middle aged self up on a ladder with a garden rake plucking off the last of the apples so as not to waste any of Big Ernie's manna. Dripping with sweat...granny shorts on bottom and scrub top from work covering the girls. Dogs circling underneath the trees waitin' for me to fall flat on my smart ass. Soon as it gets cold, the pecans will be down and you can find me out there in the corn stubble on bended knee picking THOSE up. Mama always said "Waste not, want not." No wait. What she said was "Always send thank you notes."

The last surviving kitten went to a wonderful home Monday and has been named SweetPea which I think is a lovely southern name. Now Lily just sits on the cushion in my computer chair and relishes being childless and sterile. And not bothered with kid stuff. I didn't have the heart to tell her about the engine in the truck incident the other day. Ewwww...

If you need an apple for the teacher, let me know. I've got your back.

^j^

....don't wear shoes. I tried so hard to be one but I was just a few years too young. Mama understood and dropped me off at the MidSouth Colliseum to see Led Zeppelin live and in person. I don't remember what I was wearin' underneath, but my Daddy's woolen Air Force overcoat was the top layer. It could have been August, I dunno. To me, it was all about that war and what it was doing to the drafted ones in the jungle..still pisses me off.

I think about that sometimes when I consider the upcoming presidential election and the choices being offered up and the promises being laid on the table. Truth be told, I wouldn't want the job unless I was a millionaire with nothing better to do than screw around with our country for fun and profit. For the life of me I can't figure out why the US of A wants to go out there and save all the poor picked upon countries that just happen to have the oil that fuels our economy. Hurry hurry right damn now or else you might be tardy and lose your well paying job somewhere in middle management in corporate America. Don't bother to speed...the Asian countries have beat us to the punch so it doesn't matter anywho.

That trade deficit is a real tragedy ya'll. God bless the dollar store and all that, but I'll stick with my antique furniture and the farmer's market. If only I'd thought ahead, we'd have a punkin to carve up for Halloween. Now I have to go buy one. It's worth it though, just to be a kid again.

^j^

My grandmother was a real trip in more ways than one. The oldtimers at the sawmill still remember her fondly for her thoughtfulness and take no prisoners attitude. The ER docs adored and respected her and usually did just what she told 'em to. A few weeks before she died, we were talking and she shared her personal view on loving folks. "We're all just here lent to one another by God" she quipped in a rare insightul moment. Usually she was bossing us around.

I've never forgotten the thought...that each life that touches mine is a gift of some sort from Big Ernie. Sometimes the touch is soft, light and fleeting and others are huge compilations of jumbled up life experiences, many shared with hands held or tears wiped away. The fabric of who we are as individuals is woven into a texture that is uniquely US, shaped by those who have been travelers on the same road at some point. I begain to realize when my grandmothers died that nothing lasts forever so you have to hold onto the memories of what is dear so that you never forget the moment. And pictures are always good to help you along :)

My baby girl will turn 24 tomorrow and she'll be as busy as a cat chasing a mouse on crack. I hope she knows that my heart is with her all day every day as she moves toward a new chapter of poop life and adulthood. She has been a true gift in every sense of the word, not just to me but to everyone who knows her. I look forward to more of the same, chick.

Happy birthday LP...Keep the faith ^j^

I got an email from my best high school friend today saying she probably couldn't make it for our reunion. Her Dad has inoperable cancer and is receiving supportive care from a home health agency and her Mom. She lives on the West Coast so the trips she has made home to check on them have been, though not in the budget, necessary. We have gathered around the kitchen table where we sat as teenagers and caught up on things during the past year or so. She mentioned in her email that she felt like her life was "on hold" waiting for a call to come home. Waiting for the other shoe to drop.

I've gotta say I know that feeling and it makes me weary to the bone. The way I figure it, Big Ernie gives you lovely carefree days like I had yesterday to prepare you for what's ahead. Last night BG and her gals went out to celebrate her birthday and she got surprised with a party. I woke up in the middle of the night to her sobs that came from a combination of fatigue and stress and plain old meanness. I'm so grateful to be there to hold her and I thought about how painful it is to get to the point where you accept tragedy as a part of life and keep going. At her age, I was the same way only I cried a lot easier. She's pretty tough, and as she said.....it was probably time for a breakdown.

She called me at work today to say that one of the kittens was dead in the driveway and one other was missing. I found the remains of the missing a mile away on the road so my theory is they crawled up into the motor of her friend's truck before he left. Burying kittens is not on my short list of fun things to do after a day at the sawmill. Stewie was one of them..the other she had named Schnebley. Don't ask, cuz I don't have a clue about where that name came from.

Earlier this week a co-worker who is prone to whine and pitch fits had one right after I walked in the door and stepped stomped on my last nerve. This woman is comfortable financially, has a good life with lots of friends and her husband was cured of cancer years ago. Yet she persists on huffing and puffing her way through the day as though she were the only one lifting a finger. That day I called her on it and "assertively" yet calmly told her that there was no reason for her to act that way because we are a TEAM and she doesn't do any more than some others to row the boat. When she started in on the "some people" routine, I suggested that if she had a problem with "some people" she should address them in person rather than stomping around like a mad woman muttering to herself loud enough that everyone can hear. I think she got my point. Definitely a half full glass kind of person, if you know what I mean. Life is too short, ya'll.

Peace out. And keep the faith ^j^

Days off from the sawmill are always nice, but today has been exceptional in a simplistic sort of way. Since I got paid yesterday, it was time to make the rounds with the utility company and the dollar store after I bought my ration of gas. Two hours later it had dropped 20 cents. Go figure.

I seized the day to take care of little errands that I've been putting off because: (a) it's been hot as hell and (b) I had money. Ran into Daddy at the gas station and told him I was making a Dollar General run...did they need anything? He didn't know so I called Mama and she gave me a short list. When I delivered the stuff, they were perched in their twin recliners like the couple of lovely little elders that they are. Kissed 'em both on the way out :)

One of my errands was to get mat board for the pictures I'm going to enter in the contest so I swung by the frame store to see Aunt Granny. We sat and visited for awhile discussing babies, the state of the economy and the upcoming election. Like my parents, she survives on Social Security which doesn't go far in these times. I have to wonder what the economy would look like if we had plumbers and truck drivers and nurses in Congress instead of rich lawyers.

After that I grabbed some lunch and went to see my haircutter stylist over at the salon that my high school classmates operate. Short and sweet, that's how it is. I'll go without food before I'll run around with that nappy hair all up in a clip again. Famous last words, huh?

So far, the DHS Class of '73 hasn't even anted up enough to pay for the food at our reunion so it might get cancelled if they don't get on the ball. I mean what's NOT to like about a 35 year class reunion with everybody just as gray as you are or worse? Great opportunity for a self-esteem boost there, kids.

Since I was off today I wandered up the kudzu bar last night to hear the band that's there on Thursday and they were AWOL. The karaoke just don't do it for this old gal anymore. I drool over the concert announcements that I get from various groups like The Guacamole Fund. My kind of music, ya'll.

Those of you who read here very often know that it's dang near a full time job keeping up with the critters. I spend almost as much on dog and cat food as I do people food, and still they get a bite of what we're having! They all stay close to home except for Faith when she goes lookin' for a booty call. I'm on "probation" with animal control because the next time she's picked up by them I have to go to court and pay the fees for her being a "nuisance." Uh..okay. She might lick you to death or something.

Anyways,everytime I pull out of the driveway Sam insists on racing me down the lane. I outrun him about the time I reach the dairy barn and he hightails it to home. Yesterday I was headed out and I noticed Faith running beside me too but I lost sight of both of them in the corn and carried on with the business at hand. I didn't really notice that she wasn't around last night becuase half the time she's asleep on the couch and is sort of like part of the scenery.

This morning, BG called wanting to know what time I let the dogs out. "I didn't" was my reply. "Faith isn't here." Oh. Hell. Here we go to court. So I call the animal shelter planning on a desperate plea to the dogcatcher to call me when he found her and I'd come to the TRUCK to pick her up so she wouldn't have to go to the pound. And I got a recording. Left my message saying to call me when they got in.

Within 30 seconds of hanging up the phone, another line rang and it was for me. The young lady said that she thought she had my dog and you could have knocked me over with a feather. "Where are you?" I asked. She and her husband live in Lenox which is about eight miles from where I live close to the Mississippi river. No way she could have gotten that far. She then began to tell me the story of how her husband is a UPS driver on 2nd shift and their hub is about a mile from my house, across the highway. When he left on a haul to Memphis after 4, she was there and he told her that if she was still there when he got back, she was coming home with him because she was obviously somebody's baby...collar, well trained. He even checked her out on the sit lay and shake routine! She spent the time during his absence jumping in and out of big brown trucks and generally having all kinds of canine fun. When quittin' time came, she went to Lenox with her finder and his wife called the animal clinic today to find out who she was registered to. Voila! Faith returns.

Again.

You should have seen her pretty brown face when I walked up to the pen she was in. She looked like she was trying to say "Mama I KNEW you'd come for me!" tail wagging a hundred miles an hour and trying to get sugar. Thank goodness some people are good and kind. We headed out with her head hanging from the back window to catch the wind just right and at that moment nothing else mattered but home.

By the way, the shelter never returned my call. *humph*

This was taken the same day as yesterday's pic taken several hours after Ike passed through our area. The dark and brooding sky made for a very interesting day of cloud watching.

This has turned into a birthday MONTH for me, with new presents rolling in when I least expect them. Today's delight was a beautiful bouquet of pink roses and freesia from my good friend RG. A girl sure knows how to make another ( single ) gal happy who hasn't gotten flowers in years! Thanks hon. You're the best.

Mom is at Pickwick with her gal pals whooping it up. One of the "girls" who's been a widow for 15 or 20 years has a new boyfriend and I hear she's giggly as a schoolgirl. Lord, I wish I could be a fly on the wall.

Babygirl scribbled something down from an assignment and left it laying on the printer that struck a nerve when I picked it up to read it. " Insanity: Doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results." Hmmmmm.....

Gotta run...sunset's gettin' earlier and earlier.

Ya'll keep the faith ^j^

Ike tore through here early this morning, down from 110 to around 45 mph. I woke up once to acknowledge him, then turned back over to snooze. Later on as I was driving around it was amazing to see how much damage a storm can do that far inland. Trees and limbs down and power out everywhere. My bumper pecan crop lays halfway on the road being driven over with every trip to town. I've got power and Mom and Daddy don't so he called earlier wanting to know if he could watch a little TV. I settled him and the guide into a rocker in Babygirl's room and went about my business. Ten minutes later he was on the way home. He couldn't find a thing he wanted to watch so he and Mom are listening to a book on tape by battery power. Roughing it :)

The cool front is passing through as I type so I'd better get out there on the swing and enjoy the passage. You only live once, ya know.

^j^

Oh.My.God.....I'm still laughing my butt off today :)

Listen, ya'll...enough with the heat already. The winds of Ike are set to come through here tomorrow in conjunction with a cool front that will (hopefully) promise me a sweat free week. Tried to call my dear friend Deb outside of Houston, but of course there's no service. I'm hoping she's somewhere safe and dry.

Went down to visit the parents this morning and Daddy gave me a "special" chore. He's been sprinkling these freeze dried worms in the fresh horse poop to keep the flies off of Pride and the dogs ususally get all up in the way so he asked me to sprinkle the horse poop this time. Alrighty, then. Will do. Sometime.

Babygirl is in Nashvegas being pampered for her pre-birthday by her best friend Heather. Instead of a birthday cake, she ordered from here so they could taste several of 'em.
Needless to say me and the dawgs have been sprawled all over the place with The Eagles blaring while we chill and do chores.

That picture up top is of farmer Joey overlooking the corn field on the main road. There's plenty more up and down Pecan Lane. It's amazing what you can see when the corn comes down....a whole new landscape. My house is kinda like Kevin Costner's baseball field in Field of Dreams only without the lights. Lord, I adore that movie.

Speaking of being star struck, I tuned into the chick flick channel last night and who did I see by my all time favorite actor in Must Love Dogs. I don't know what the heck it is, but there's something about his style that just makes me wanna run nekkid down the lane. I'm looking forward to seeing Burn After Reading because it looks funny as all get out. And, um, the scenery's pretty good too :)

And last but not least, God bless the internets for delivering me a spam comment from an adult website after I wrote about sex addiction. I am composing my thank you note to Gates right this minute!

Not my phrase, by the way. It came from Oprah's show today on which she interviewed Tatum O'Neal about her near relapse. The only reason she didn't use the drug she scored was because she was arrested with it in her hand. Eighteen hours in jail but still clean and sober.

Addictions come in many forms ranging from substance abuse to particular ways of behaving but the common factor in all of them is an attempt to control things....outcomes, pain, the past. The twelve steps of AA proved to be so valuable for recovering alcoholics that people who are addicted to other things adopted them to deal with their personal demons. Sex. Gambling. Co-dependency. Say what?

Yep...that is what I went into recovery for and I clawed my way up and down those 12 steps a jillion times. Still do. Step numero uno is admitting that there is a problem...that you are in pain and your life is out of control. At 32, the pain was so terrible that I had no choice but to seek help. I had lived my life up to that point for everyone else but me and worn enough hats to fill up two racks in the hallway. Nice girl. Church member. Rebel without a cause. Daughter. Sister. Granddaughter. Medical technologist. Wife. Mother. Friend. And like Quixote, I jousted at every windmill that I encountered with a feverish desire to rigidly plan my life and be happy. Only I rarely was because I was so exhausted from sweatin' the small stuff 24/7.

Co-dependency is a disease just like any other behavioral addiction, only you can hide it really well. Who would dare suspect that the overachieving working mother who busts her butt at the day job and is all things to her family could possibly be an addict?! It was at this point that I was slapped smartly on the face with the realization that I didn't know who I was. Oh, I knew what my chosen vocation was and I did it extremely well, sometimes to a fault. My family life suffered because of my dogged devotion to a career that demands a lot both physically and emotionally. I was keenly aware of what others thought of me and constantly striving for approval with emphasis on pleasing those in authority. And that wasn't just at work. I always wanted to do the "politically correct" thing. I wanted my parents to be proud of me and I wanted my husband to love me and my daughter to grow up happy and healthy. I wanted to earn enough money to not have to worry about it and to be appreciated for my accomplishments at work.

The journey of self-discovery continues today, but I learned a lot of things those first few years that gave me the strength to keep digging until I found a different version of ME that was less painful and more peaceful. The 2nd step to that journey was accepting the fact that not much of it is something that I can control. The only thing I can truly claim is my outlook on life and the way that I react to others. The rest of the steps are tools to navigate that process. One of the hardest to get past is the place where you do a personal inventory of your own character defects and admit them to another person. Hey, nobody's perfect so go for it.

A lot of anger surfaced during that time...at anybody I could blame this or that pain on. Most of it turned out to be losses that I had not grieved fully or situations in which I was a player in someone else's game. I learned to distance myself from situations that felt uncomfortable emotionally and to be very cautious about why I was doing something...was it for someone's approval or for my own reasons? I would take five steps and go crashing down to the bottom again. Only this time the first one wasn't so difficult. Eventually they became a part of who I was and the way I lived my life. I began to recognize the things that trapped me and began to chew those bonds loose with my teeth thread by thread. I felt worthy and content just being who I was.

One of the most valuable behaviors one can have in this life is gratitude and I try to practice it even if I don't feel particularly grateful. If I've gotta bitch, I'll do it here or to a trusted friend who will let me vent and move on without a whole lot of drama. While I feel honored to have someone's respect or friendship, I really don't care what people think of me. I yam what I yam and I'm okay with it. This is not to say that there aren't some really REALLY dark days. But the difference now, is that I know they will pass. And I know that there is a plan where I may have to make decisions here and there, but for the most part all I have to do is be the best me that I'm capable of. The rest will take care of itself.

Today? The glass is half full.

^j^

I use my cell as an alarm because the plug in one doesn't work and it's easier to hit snooze 5 times when it's curled in the palm of your hand. No, I ain't a morning person. Today and yesterday the damn thing didn't go off and I had to scurry out with a quick brush of the teeth to the sawmill. The decor is looking really nifty up in there since the painters have done their thing. The new cath lab is almost ready and soon there won't be any hot construction butts guys to chat with. What a shame. Got a raise though. It wasn't much, but my boss makes it seem like a lot more.

My friend JR came out this afternoon to peruse the yearbook and decide if he wants to brave our 35 year reunion. Like half of America, he's still undecided. Obama's people called the house phone right after that asking for a contribution. I guess they don't read this blog, huh? I figure my vote might be worth a hundred bucks in this election. Hypothetically speaking, of course.

It's past my birthday and it's still hot as hades on Pecan Lane. What's up with that??? I was the official secretary at work today so I got to hear the TV in one ear while I was poking folks with needles. Or course, the memorial was a day long event and it reminded me of that day seven years ago when our comfy little world went to hell in a handbasket. It's one of those moments like when JFK got shot that you can always tell where you were and what you were doing in graphic detail. Oh, and props to Mahala for the title :)

Ya'll hang in there. Friday's coming. ^j^

That's me when the camera goes off. Never did learn how to pose, dammit. From dawn to way after dusk, this has been the perfect celebration of that poopie little person called Janie. Thank you all for remembering me even though I didn't bring cupcakes for the class. Ya'll know they'll be there when you least expect them and they'll be sinfully rich, just.for.you.

This election shit crap is gettin' on my nerves already what with the old guy and his perky running mate pulling out all the stops with Vietnam and 9/11 and don't dare suck out an embroyo but fry that mofo on death row because it's an eye for an eye sort of world. You know....the end times.

I've heard it said that b**ggers will determine, at the very least, the outcome of this election and I have to say that can only be a good thing. When people step out of the partisan comfort zone to talk about the real issues and the future of our earth, that gives me faith.

And that? That's a good thing to experience.

^j^

Yep, even middle aged chicks know how to have fun. After all, that's what friendship is about.

Redneck friend gave me that magnetic picture frame for Christmas last year with instructions to fill it up. So far all I've managed to get in there is a raggedy copy of these two clowns. It reminds me of the truth every time I walk by.

Speaking of friends, ya'll are the best. I feel better about things today...hell maybe I just needed a good cry. Girls are like that sometimes, what can I say. Your kind words were just what I needed to get up out of the valley and put on the big girl panties.

We haven't seen the sun in several days now so I'm hoping it will peek out for "all about me" weekend. LP and friends are finishing up the bathroom paint job I started two years ago which is a true labor of love. Besides, she said, she's sick of lookin' at it :) That's my kid.

Ya'll count your blessings and don't take anything for granted.

^j^

I don't shake easily these days because I've already seen so much and weathered some crises that I never thought I'd live through. I've learned that while "do unto others" is what Big Ernie likes, not all people buy into that theology, especially when it comes to money. Unless somebody dies or we're suddenly homeless, it just doesn't register on my radar as something to worry over.

I read between the lines of a letter today that concerns the future of me and my family and what I saw there scared me. I held the tears in all day at work but the sobs busted out with a fury as soon as my butt hit the seat of the Camry in the no-parking zone at the sawmill where we will soon all dress alike. Having not had a meltdown in awhile, I let 'er rip until the sobs came out. Yes, even smartasses have bad days. This lasted during the trip home with a few stops along the way, people gazing at me with concern over the red eyes and the obvious grief. Nobody said a word except for Yaya. Chin up :) I'm trying.

Here's the funny thing about faith that I've noticed along the road. If you believe that there's a plan and that all you have to do is show up and play your part then things don't seem near as scary as if you're doing it all on your own. Which I'm not. Letting go has become, if not an automatic behavior, one that I can reach to when things are particularly rough. Beats the hell out of takin' to the bed with smelling salts, ya know?

And so, with that in mind, I will act as if it's almost my birthday and act as if everything will work out the way it's intended to. There will be music and food and good friends and a fire and I'll pretend to be the little girl with the birthday crown on at kindergarten whose mom just brought cupcakes for the whole class so everybody likes her best.

And this? "This too shall pass." Mr.Yates

As planned, I was a guest at my brother's opening day dove hunt yesterday. The short version? HOT. The long version is here. I was just a by-stander...never shot a gun in my life.

My smartass photographer friend Fletch honored the Poopster with this award which is supposed to be "viral" in nature in a harmless sort of way. The deal is to introduce blogs that really hold your interest to others who might enjoy them. Since I don't get any awards, or many comments for that matter, it was a real treat to get a reference from someone I visit every day for pretty pictures, wit and hurricane forecasts. Ya'll know I want to share the lurve, so I must pass the baton to others that make my blogosphere a happier place.

Old Horsetail Snake : Gene Maudlin, aka Old Hoss, is a brilliant elderb**gger who tickles many a funny bone with his cartoons and jokes. Think sunday funnies with no censoring. He even came all the way from Oregon to visit me on Pecan Lane! And then we got stuck in the mud.
With a skunk.

Random Southerner : This gutsy chick in South Carolina has been to hell and back during the past few years. In spite of her loss, she has remained witty and sharp with her writing. My kind of gal.

Hidden Mahala : Imagine living in a place called Frog Pond Holler with an amazon daughter and a crazy mama and working in a place she dubs "the cubicle asylum." There is never a dull moment there, and she makes me laugh with every single post. As Martha would say "that's a good thing." She also has a very cool store featuring all things southern.

Risible Girl : From far away in Washington State, this quirky gal entertains me each and every day with what is happening in her life. Her topics range from her latest head bonk to the train nazi who shooshes people on their commute. Hilarious!

Chapter Next : This woman's way with words never ceases to amaze me. Sometimes when I read her posts it's as if she picked just the right phrases to express what I feel. That's why I affectionately refer to her as my "fairy blogmother."

There are buckets full of apples in the kitchen that won't peel themselves, so I reckon I'm outta here and on to the chores. Be really sweet, and I'll send you some applesauce.

Over and out from Pecan Lane.

^j^